Finding Me, Where Can He Be...

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the worst feeling that man can ever feel is Loneliness. to have someone there not even physically touching, juss the simple fact that you knoe you have someone who loves you. i have never experienced loneliness before. Even though me and mi Love were hundreds of miles apart, loneliness has never knocked on mi door. i have always Felt that they were with me, never feeling lonely, even in an empty house for a long period of time. I have never ever been lonely, until now. This loneliness was not like this with anyone else, i am in a room full of family and friends but Loneliness has still taken over me, i still feel empty inside. Every laugh i laugh is fake, every smile i give is not real, every hug i give has no meaning. I feel literally empty. I try not to bitch about it cuz i dont want mi friends to think of me in a bad way, but i cant stop. Mi feelings are rediculously amazing. i am emotionless, i have no feeling, every “I Love You” is fake…this loneliness is the worst feeling a man can feel. Juss an empty body with no heart and soul, walking and talking. This feeling must end, I must End it!!!

The Inevitable Impossibilities of Us are Obvious,
U can see it clear as day at a glimpse,
Mi reality however, leaves me curious,
Leaves mi heart with Some What of a limp.

Low key crippled,
Or maybe juss a sprain,
Wat ever it may be,
Ur Mental Picture is Posted on the walls of mi Brain.

Lyph’s Craziness and how this Situation was Set,
Doubts and Questions filling mi mind,
Should we have even met???
Will she even remember me with the passing time???

hmmm? Yes Our meeting wat right
Gave me the ability to wooo u with mi charm lol
Mi heart soared to unimaginable heights,
When i looked down into ur eyes and had u in mi arm.

The question of remembrance is relative to the subject,
But also to the depth of the impression left,
U obviously left an impression to great to reject,
Ur Smile, Eyes, and Laugh found guilty of Heart theft.

The Inevitable Impossibilities of Us are Obvious,
U can see it clear as day at a Glance,
Mi reality however, leaves me curious,
Cuuuuzzz NOTHING is Impossible When Given a chance!!!

Had a dream i died, but woke up smiling. I woke up peaceful and smiling, then i realized i wasn’t dreaming anymore and the shitty existence of reality was not extinct. I felt relief knowing it was all over, there was no more to go through. Stress had simply run away never to return, and then i woke up. 

The dream wasn’t bad. I was lost in a land of hill and mountains chasing a shadow. Running as fast as i can trying with all my might to obtain it. Going through jungles, forests, desserts, cities and towns. Trying to hard, never stopping, never giving up. The crazy thing is that every time i came close it found something to boost its speed. Then i heard it singing a song “Catch me please, Live with me, I Love You, Be with me…Please catch me, Only You, Can Love me the way i’m ment to be…” I kept asking “Why don’t you stop so i can catch you?”, but all it would do is sing this song. so i pray to God “Please let me catch this shadow, Please Lord make it your will”. With that prayer came a big boost in energy and speed, i ran the fastest i have ever ran and was more determined and devoted than ever. I ran along side the shadow, at speeds unknown, placing mi hands above mi head to finally catch the shadow i began singing a song i wrote “I Love u, and I, Need u in mi life, Beauti ful be mine, I’ll Love u for all time” LOUD with a big smile on mi face. As i drew mi hands downward to finally catch the Shadow, it suddenly stopped, but mi momentum was to much to stop instantly. I tried with all mi might thinking why did it stop, and as i skid into the road a 16 wheeler truck ran me over. Then a voice whispered “Death is the Only way to stop the chase”. Then i woke u….smiling….Thought I was gone, it was so peaceful in those moments right before i opened mi eyes and realized i was still here. FIN